Six Meals a Day? How weak is that?
Wednesday, January 24th, 2007Since I last talked to you, I have not lost weight, I have gained. Why? I have done nothing that I had planned on doing. It is hard for me to structure my eating when the rest of my life is so unstructured. I know how important losing this weight is to my health, but it is increasingly difficult. I am now closing in on 216 pounds..
Marital problems and stress at work is killing me. I respond by not eating extended periods of time, then binge eating when my sugar levels drop too low. I guess I need emotional counseling in order to deal with stress in a more constructive manner. The problem is, the more stressed I am, the less desire I have to do what is right for my body. I know I have to eat 6 small meals a day, but who has the time to do that? Working makes that close to impossible. Eating every 2 to 3 hours is hard when you have a boss breathing down your neck.
I feel like a prisoner. Doomed to have to take food with me where ever I go, just so that my blood sugar does not bottom out. But I have no choice. I have to take care of myself so that my mind and body can be prepared for the stress that life is going to bring. I see this pattern in me. Always thinking that I am somehow weak for having to eat at certain times. I know it sounds stupid, but I see thin people go 6 hours without eating sometimes and they don’t binge out, why can’t I do it? Look at all the fat I stored up! What if I was in some third world country wherein I did not have the luxury of eating every 2 to 3 hours? I would be SOL. I feel weak. But I need to stop comparing myself to everybody else and just think about what I need in my life right now. I have no choice.
Donna
Technorati Tags: binge eating, insulin resistance, PCOS, diet, weight
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