I’m Back -Still in Love with Carbs
Monday, October 23rd, 2006How do I fight it? How do I win. I’m in love with carbs. I am depressed and don’t like how my life is going. I am gaining weight day after day. Can’t go to my family, because they don’t care or understand. I wish I can wave a magic wand and make myself hate carbs and hate eating. I understand now that this is both an emotional and a physical issue. The emotional side of me is not separate from my physical side. Eating bad carbs upsets my hormones which upsets my ability to deal with stress which makes me go for quick fixes like donuts and ice cream. So how come I know what is wrong, yet do it anyway? Well, I tend to put it off till tommorow. Oh, I’ll start to eat right tommorow, I say. I don’t have time to eat right today or I have so much to do that I need to put that frozen pizza in the oven instead of preparing a real meal. I think skipping meals and snacks does not help my cause either. I get so entrenched in working and worrying about working that I forget to eat. I forget to eat then boom! I am starving for carbs. Insulin resistant people like me need to eat every 2 to 3 hours. I have to eat three small meals and snacks in between. I feel like I am weak, because I have to do that. I say to myself, “Sally doesn’t have to eat every 2 to 3 hours in order to control her hunger, why do I?”. I know the answer. I know the answer is because I have metabolic syndrome. I don’t process carbohydrates well. I need to eat a little at a time so that my blood sugar does not crash after 3 hours. That way I don’t crave carbs so bad after my blood sugar drops too hard. Which keeps my insulin levels in check, which keeps my hunger levels in check. It does not make it any easier though. I hate that I have to live a structured life in such a chaotic world. Why can’t I roll with the punches just like everyone else? Why? It feels so restraining. Like I am in grade school or something. What if something bad happens. What if I can’t get to my food in two to three hours on a regular basis. Shouldn’t I learn to control myself? What is wrong with me??
Donna
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